Resolution

This is the time of year when people think about making changes.  It seems natural to start a new year with a fresh attitude, healthy habit or mantra.  I can't tell you how many times I have been asked what my New Year's resolution will be.   Truthfully, I don't make them.  There is no time like the present to begin a good thing whether it is for myself or others, so why wait?  Besides, I think we set ourselves up to fail by pinning new endeavors to January 1st with the whole, great, big, long, year stretched out in front of us like a mine field where any missed step has the potential  to thwart our best efforts. This year, instead of making a resolution based on something we will start or stop doing, let's commit to adjust our resolution, like we would with a photograph, to see things more clearly, more practically, more realistically in the next twelve months.

Here's the thing:   Most of the time we are not blindsided by the events in our lives.   There are warnings. People who love us tip us off to issues that need to be addressed (usually more than once). Sometimes we get a sour feeling in our gut about people, situations, etc., but rather than take advantage of this God-given personal security system, we decide to whistle in the dark, hoping against history that our intuition is not right.  Let's choose not to do that.  Instead, let's fine tune our perception to see things how they really are so that we can bypass some of the rough spots that might be on the horizon this coming year.

Here are a few beacons of clarity to get you started:

- A person who lies to you will keep lying to you because it is apparently easy... and they want to.
- There is a marked difference between privacy and secrecy when it comes to any relationship.
- If you keep "taking it" they will keep "doing it."
- As adults, we are the only common denominator in our poor experiences.  Own your portion of the conflict so that at least that little bit won't be repeated.
- Reliving the same situations?  As my daughter says "Look at your choices, look at your life."
- The only thing surprising about a cheater who cheats again is that you believed them the second time.  Second chances are earned, not always deserved.
- Grow up.  It is amazing how clear our perception is when we put on our big girl/boy pants and stop crawling around on the floor.
-  Remember the things last year that you thought would break you? Well, here you are triumphantly looking back. It may not have been perfect. It may not have been pretty. But you're still standing.   LET'S BE CLEAR -you are stronger than you know.

 "When I was a child, I spoke  like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew up I put childish ways behind me.  For now we see in the mirror dimly; but soon we shall see face to face."
 Corinthians 13:11-12