Sacred and beautiful

 Remember I told you that I am trying to develop a running regimen?  Well, yesterday I was at the track when an older man approached me.  He lapped me a few times then turned around running backwards to face me.  He asked How long are you going to keep running?  I told him that I didn't know  but I was on my 16th lap and joked that I tend to run until it is "time to stop", whenever that is.  He commented that that was great and that he had started after me but was heading for home.  I gave him kudos for how fast he was running and how he looked like he was doing great at it, a real pro and he said, Well you are doing wonderful.  I have seen you out here a few times and I am really impressed.  He added,  You are doing a great job, especially carrying all that weight.    

                       SCREECH!!  HALT!!  CRASH!!!      WHAT DID HE SAY??

...You are doing a great job, especially carrying all that weight...

 As you can imagine he was talking about my waist line.  I could not believe it. Normally  I subscribe to the "your opinion of me is none of my business" mode of thought, his words, however, were like a punch in the stomach .  He tried to be encouraging and  went on and on about running techniques but all I heard was  BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!  because  this stranger had  made a comment about my "fat behind" running around a track and it played over and over again in my head like a broken record.  It made me want to stop running and go eat a stack of pancakes (my drug of choice).

 We have all heard the saying sticks and stones

may break my bones but words can never hurt me, but if you have reached any level of age you know that that is untrue.  The sting of an assault will eventually heal and the memory fade.  Words can be as bruising as a left hook and last way longer because they can be put on auto play forever. That is an important point to remember as we maneuver to get the last word, tell someone off, or share that precious piece of our mind that we seem to be so eager to hand out. We need to ask ourselves if what we are going to say is really necessary or are we just getting a quick moment's satisfaction in return for someone else's lifetime of hurt.

I know that the man at the track didn't mean to be discourteous and insensitive. He was trying to be helpful and frankly he was. When I went home and was brooding in front of a mirror staring at my waist line,  I remembered a time when I was doing that very thing and someone who loved me, sensing my frustration with the woman in the mirror said softly, "You are sacred and beautiful."  Those words, so sweet and tender, took my breath away.    It is a   challenge sometimes to trust that I can be sacred and beautiful just the way I am, whether I run one thousand laps or never again.  I know I have to be comfortable with who I am before anyone else can. God said something similar (we are) beautifully and wonderfully made. I am learning to believe that, too.

Much of who we are and what we do is based on a standard that is not grounded in reality. Stores like Abercrombie and Fitch relish the 00 when the average size for a woman is 14. We act like we don't know this to be true and perpetuate the fallacy by cutting off our circulation trying to get into skinny jeans or starving ourselves to look like the air brushed, photoshopped pictures we see in magazines. The models don't even look like models without help. Be healthier, yes. Be aware of what we are putting into our mouths, yes. Take note of our family histories and move more than hold down the sofa. All YES, but here's the thing: you do YOU and no one else. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. You are sacred and beautiful. Do whatever you need to to make a better you albeit through exercise, getting out of a bad relationship, going back to school, whatever it is -- do it, but -- do it for YOU. There will always be those ready to comment or share an opinion. Take what has value and leave the rest.

'So today I am going to the track. Me and all that weight are going to run until it is time to stop, but rest assured I am doing it for me and no one else because I am already beautifully and  wonderfully made and so are you.

...Sacred and beautiful...
...Sacred and beautiful...  
...Sacred and beautiful...

I have it on auto play.