Someone asked me tearfully "...He says that he loves me. We get along great most of the time. I don't want to be alone. How do I know when it is really over?"
You love a person. You have the best times together, but once a month they climb up on your side of the bed and take a huge dump. (Now I know that is graphic and may be offensive to some but just stay with me for a minute).
Let's say after they do that they just get up off the bed and walk away and leave it for you to find and clean up. You love them so you do. You can't believe that they would do something like that on purpose so you don't say anything about it; you don't want to embarrass them - maybe it was just an accident, but a few weeks later you come home from work and there it is -- another heaping pile of poop on your side of the bed!
Okay now you're beginning to wonder what is up with this. You guys are so great together. You can make each other laugh. You feel so close. Why would they do something like that? You confront them about it. They agree to go to counseling and you do. You give it a couple of months and dang it if you don't come home to find poo on the side of the bed AND in the living room. The cat is playing with it! Now you're mad. You tell them that this is unacceptable, that you have had it and if they don't stop leaving piles of crap all around the house you are through. They just look at you with a blank stare and don't say anything back.
Soon the holidays are coming and things have been going great. You have people coming in from out of town. Right before you open the door to welcome your guests to Thanksgiving you notice a huge pile on the dining room table right next to the turkey. Not only that, but they have managed to smear the curtains as well! You can't believe it! WTH! You notice your kids are starting to do it. Your friends don't want to come around anymore because, you know, its weird at your place What do you do?
You give them another chance and they say they're really really sorry and you'd like to believe them, but they've just handed you your Christmas present....and the box is warm.
Here's the thing: You teach people how to treat you. Whether its cheating, lying, addiction(s), inattention, or taking you for granted, how much s*** you are willing to put up with and let your children live with (if you have any) is entirely up to you.
I thought a moment and then I told them this "fable".
You love a person. You have the best times together, but once a month they climb up on your side of the bed and take a huge dump. (Now I know that is graphic and may be offensive to some but just stay with me for a minute).
Let's say after they do that they just get up off the bed and walk away and leave it for you to find and clean up. You love them so you do. You can't believe that they would do something like that on purpose so you don't say anything about it; you don't want to embarrass them - maybe it was just an accident, but a few weeks later you come home from work and there it is -- another heaping pile of poop on your side of the bed!
Okay now you're beginning to wonder what is up with this. You guys are so great together. You can make each other laugh. You feel so close. Why would they do something like that? You confront them about it. They agree to go to counseling and you do. You give it a couple of months and dang it if you don't come home to find poo on the side of the bed AND in the living room. The cat is playing with it! Now you're mad. You tell them that this is unacceptable, that you have had it and if they don't stop leaving piles of crap all around the house you are through. They just look at you with a blank stare and don't say anything back.
Soon the holidays are coming and things have been going great. You have people coming in from out of town. Right before you open the door to welcome your guests to Thanksgiving you notice a huge pile on the dining room table right next to the turkey. Not only that, but they have managed to smear the curtains as well! You can't believe it! WTH! You notice your kids are starting to do it. Your friends don't want to come around anymore because, you know, its weird at your place What do you do?
You give them another chance and they say they're really really sorry and you'd like to believe them, but they've just handed you your Christmas present....and the box is warm.
Here's the thing: You teach people how to treat you. Whether its cheating, lying, addiction(s), inattention, or taking you for granted, how much s*** you are willing to put up with and let your children live with (if you have any) is entirely up to you.
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