I had been working on running. A few of us at work have been encouraging one another to this effect and are wonderful at being there to pat each other on the back, give tips and advice, a kick in the pants, or applause whatever the case may be to keep us going. It is easy to feel motivated with so much support and so week after week I have been adding a little bit more distance. Trust me, when I say little bit, I mean little bit. I started out run/walking the track. Next I went on to trying to run one lap, then two (you get the idea.) The most I had ever run is a little over 3 miles in the 3 months that I have been running.
Anyway, yesterday I planned on only doing about 2 miles, it was early evening, it looked like rain and I figured I had just enough time for that. When I got to 2 miles it wasn't raining yet, there was still a little light out and I was feeling pretty good so I decided to try to go a bit more. As the evening wore on the conditions stayed the same, so I kept going.
Long story short before too long I was up to 4 miles. OH MY GOODNESS! I had never run so far. I was feeling great so I thought, even though it was getting darker, I would keep going. Now when I run I make hash marks on my hands to keep count of the laps. It is easy to get confused running around a track so once I got to 4 and 1/2 miles (still feeling froggy) I looked at the 18 marks on my hand and thought, "... wouldn't it be nice to make it an even 20?"
The sun went down. The only lights were from passing cars and street lights near the track. It was beginning to drizzle a bit, everyone else had gone, but I kept running. As I rounded the last corner toward my 5 mile finish I was so exhilerated that I started to sprint. When I made the last hash mark on my palm I was so excited that my hands were shaking. I don't know if I have ever felt that good in my life.
Here's the thing: You have heard me reference the old question: if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound? I have a roundabout answer for you. As much as we seek the approval and acceptance of others, as much as we want to be affirmed and validated, as much as we hope to be complete and respected, there are things that we will have to perform for an audience of one --ourselves. The universe is not perfect and outside assurances may not come so sometimes that will have to be enough.
Most goals we set for ourselves are not lofty or extravagant, but grounded in the quiet and familiar Speaking for myself I realize that many times I set my sights low not because I can't do something, but because I am afraid to try and fail The last couple of years have taught me that steadfastness and will are powerful things and coupled with the grace of God, give us strength we have never imagined
So, back to our "tree" question with a few minor changes: If a 40+ year old woman runs around a track in the dark and drizzle, finishing her first 5 miles and noone is there to see it ...does she throw up her hands and cheer? Does she jump up and down on her finish line? Does she thank God for each wobbly step? Does she do a squirrelly dance in the parking lot to her car? Does she accomplish anything? Does it matter?
I had been working on running. A few of us at work have been encouraging one another to this effect and are wonderful at being there to pat each other on the back, give tips and advice, a kick in the pants, or applause whatever the case may be to keep us going. It is easy to feel motivated with so much support and so week after week I have been adding a little bit more distance. Trust me, when I say little bit, I mean little bit. I started out run/walking the track. Next I went on to trying to run one lap, then two (you get the idea.) The most I had ever run is a little over 3 miles in the 3 months that I have been running.
Anyway, yesterday I planned on only doing about 2 miles, it was early evening, it looked like rain and I figured I had just enough time for that. When I got to 2 miles it wasn't raining yet, there was still a little light out and I was feeling pretty good so I decided to try to go a bit more. As the evening wore on the conditions stayed the same, so I kept going.
Long story short before too long I was up to 4 miles. OH MY GOODNESS! I had never run so far. I was feeling great so I thought, even though it was getting darker, I would keep going. Now when I run I make hash marks on my hands to keep count of the laps. It is easy to get confused running around a track so once I got to 4 and 1/2 miles (still feeling froggy) I looked at the 18 marks on my hand and thought, "... wouldn't it be nice to make it an even 20?"
The sun went down. The only lights were from passing cars and street lights near the track. It was beginning to drizzle a bit, everyone else had gone, but I kept running. As I rounded the last corner toward my 5 mile finish I was so exhilerated that I started to sprint. When I made the last hash mark on my palm I was so excited that my hands were shaking. I don't know if I have ever felt that good in my life.
Here's the thing: You have heard me reference the old question: if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound? I have a roundabout answer for you. As much as we seek the approval and acceptance of others, as much as we want to be affirmed and validated, as much as we hope to be complete and respected, there are things that we will have to perform for an audience of one --ourselves. The universe is not perfect and outside assurances may not come so sometimes that will have to be enough.
Most goals we set for ourselves are not lofty or extravagant, but grounded in the quiet and familiar Speaking for myself I realize that many times I set my sights low not because I can't do something, but because I am afraid to try and fail The last couple of years have taught me that steadfastness and will are powerful things and coupled with the grace of God, give us strength we have never imagined
So, back to our "tree" question with a few minor changes: If a 40+ year old woman runs around a track in the dark and drizzle, finishing her first 5 miles and noone is there to see it ...does she throw up her hands and cheer? Does she jump up and down on her finish line? Does she thank God for each wobbly step? Does she do a squirrelly dance in the parking lot to her car? Does she accomplish anything? Does it matter?Answer: Yes!!
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